Burnout Therapy for Career Women Afraid to Choose
Career women are used to juggling it all. The career, the home, the relationships. And somewhere along the way, someone told us we needed to choose.
We chose not to.
And somehow we found ourselves face-to-face with the career we love and the burnout we're trying so hard to escape. If that sounds familiar, burnout therapy for career women isn't about convincing you to give something up. It's about building your own version of all of it, without losing yourself in the process.
Here's the thing. There is so little out there that speaks to women like us, the ones living in between both worlds, in a culture that's constantly pushing us to pick a side.
So in this post, I'm breaking down where burnout is really coming from, what I see when I work with career women in this unique pocket, and four strategies we use so you can keep showing up for your career and your family while still staying connected to you.
Career Burnout in Women: It's Not Your Job or Your Family
More times than not, the career is not the problem. The home life isn't the problem either. Neither is the family.
The problem is that we're trying to make it look like everyone else's.
You're trying to fit in 40 hours a week. You're also trying to be a present and engaged mom. Maybe you're working an abbreviated schedule. And on top of all of that, you're trying to do all the things that keep you connected to yourself.
Then you look around. There's the woman you work with who doesn't have kids. There's the friend you love who stays at home. And without even realizing it, you start measuring your life against theirs. Their schedule. Their energy. What their week looks like.
But your life isn't going to look like either of theirs. It's going to be your own unique version. And when you keep trying to force it into someone else's shape, that's when the exhaustion sets in. It's the kind that shows up as feeling behind no matter how much you get done, or lying awake at night running through tomorrow's list. (If that 2am brain is your reality right now, I wrote about it here: It's 2 am and my mind won't shut off, why?!)
This is what burnout in working moms and career women so often looks like. Not a lack of drive. Not a lack of love for the work. Just carrying the weight of the world on your own while trying to match a picture that was never built for you.
And honestly, it doesn't help that so little of what's out there speaks to women in this in-between space. Most of the messaging tells you to lean all the way in or step all the way back. Very little of it says you can stay in both worlds and still feel like yourself.
You can. But it takes a different kind of support.
What Burnout Therapy for Career Women Actually Looks Like
I'll be honest with you. I'm not just a therapist who gets this. I'm a therapist who finds herself in this very place.
So when I work with career women who are trying to resist burnout without giving up pieces of themselves, we're not deciding what to cut out of your life. We're building an abbreviated version of all of the things. You're not giving any one thing up. It just isn't going to look like anyone else's version, and that's the point.
Over time, I've noticed a few things are most effective for women in this unique pocket:
Not losing her identity. We double down on the things that help her stay connected to herself.
Fostering and expanding community. Even if, at times, that means leaning on people who aren't related to her.
Creating pockets of good enough. And being intentional about the commitments she says yes to.
Exercising boundaries, embraced with a warm no.
None of these are about doing more. They're about getting really clear on what actually needs you, and giving yourself permission to let the rest be lighter.
A lot of the women I work with are also wrestling with perfectionism underneath the burnout. That pull to make every piece of life look polished is often what keeps the cycle going. If that's you, you might also find support here: [Perfectionism Therapy]. Let's break each of these down so you can see a little bit of what this looks like in real life.
4 Ways to Resist Burnout Without Giving Up Pieces of Yourself
1. Stay connected to yourself (don't lose your pink)
This is about creating pockets of time for things you enjoy. It can be joining a book club or reading your favorite book. It can be having some time to get artsy, going to a yoga class, or grabbing coffee with a friend.
This doesn't need to be daily. It can be weekly, or even monthly if that's what this season allows. What matters is that there is an identifiable time and space on your calendar that is yours.
2. Foster and expand your community
Start by looking at who's around you that wants to help. Then start to delegate.
This is where we shift away from people pleasing and the worry that you're putting too much on others. Instead, you start accepting the help that's being offered and calling on the people in your immediate circle when you need them. That might mean telling your spouse exactly where you need help, rather than taking on the weight of the world by yourself. Research on working mothers backs this up: social support is linked to lower levels of both work-related and parental burnout.
3. Create pockets of good enough
Not everything needs to be perfect. Ask yourself what can be average or just OK.
Does that kindergarten project really need to be that perfect? Or can you cap it, give it your best for an hour, and move on?
Does dinner need to be a six-course meal? Or can you double what you're cooking so tomorrow is leftovers?
Are there chores that really aren't that big of a deal? Can you close their bedroom door and not stress about it every day?
Does the laundry really need to be done today? Or can you pick one specific day of the week for it so you're not constantly overwhelmed by it?
There's a reason this one matters so much. A large review of 43 studies found that perfectionism driven by fear of falling short is closely tied to burnout, while healthy ambition isn't. Wanting to do well isn't the problem. Needing everything to be perfect is.
4. Be intentional with your yes (and get comfortable with a warm no)
Put what has to be on your calendar first. Then what can be. Then look honestly at what really doesn't have to be there at all.
Get comfortable politely saying no, or simply letting people know you're at capacity in this season. You don't have to carry the load of saying yes to everything. One simple way to start: give yourself 24 hours before responding to anything that's being asked of you.
You Don't Have to Choose. You Do Need Support.
More times than not, career women find themselves face-to-face with burnout not because they were doing anything wrong, but because they didn't have the right support.
You're juggling so many different roles. Trying to carry the weight of the world so your life looks like everybody else's is impossible. That's not a personal failure. It's just not a fair standard.
That's where therapy can help. Together, we find unique strategies that let you stay just as effective in your career while honoring the woman you are outside of it. And we put that support in place before it becomes too heavy, and before it starts to drain the motivation and desire that drive your passion for your work.
If this is something you've been curious about, or you've noticed yourself coming face-to-face with burnout, I invite you to schedule an intro call. We'll explore what's going on a little further and see if I'm the right fit for you and your journey. Burnout therapy for career women can help you keep the life you've built without losing yourself inside it.
